Personal: Ups and downs


I know, by time, every devastating life event will fade away and melt into the infinity. Yet, the process of any kind of disappointments towards the complete relief is hurtful and often accompany with physical pain. Our life is full of wrong decisions, mistakes and sometimes we step on wrong tracks, and I am sure I am not any different. What makes most of us different from the rest of us is the capability to learn from our own mistakes. However, large number of us are unable to learn from their mistakes simply because they are convinced that the way they act is the right way to act. Most of the cases time clearly tells that they are wrong.

I have been facing very difficult times with family issues and while I try to understand everything I slowly loose my faith in the past. Has everything happened the way I was told since my childhood? I am not sure anymore. Probably I am pretty sure in everything, I am just unheroic to confess it. Do I need help? I am not sure. What help would be efficient? Going birding and watching at all the feather details of birds and their beautiful song? Talking to a real friend, who many times in my life advised me to do things differently, and who is not just nice to me but HONEST! Or, probably I just have to hug my beautiful wife once again and step over it, all over again and for good? Making a shell around me/us to avoid being hurt once again. Probably that would be convenient.

Many human beings are infected by jealousy and deep hate what simply impossible to be treated. Whatever grand gesture you make towards them is useless and futile. I have well surrounded myself with many of however, that wasn’t always my decision. The best I could do to be far far away from those harmful people. This has been done. This pushes us towards a solitary life but that is still better than being attacked everyday by their negative energy. Yet, some shocking news have reached me unsolicited. I don’t blame anyone. I blame myself being emotional towards my family despite many many unpleasant experiences (what a gentle and polite expression for all those happenings) of the past.

Life is challenging and forces us to find solutions for survival without intermission. I think I don’t need help. I’ll be fine by time.

Next Chapter…


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