Self assessment crisis

I have not been living peaceful times in the last few years. Besides family issues, I cannot get rid of the frustration I’ve been feeling by one the distant happenings. This is the lack of graduation, which forced me to work in areas I didn’t want, and in most of the cases, I didn’t like. Life wasn’t simple in the communism era and, at least for our family, sending me to the university was not possible. Without blaming anything or anyone, it certainly affected my entire life.

Getting closer to 50, I know how many wonderful things I could have done for birds by simply being graduated. That document can open lots of doors as easily as the lack of it keeps doors closed. I just recently faced a not so pleasant reaction on the lack of graduation, when I prepared my first shorebird migration research project. I honestly told one of the biologists, who studied Little Ringed Plover, that I wasn’t a scientist. He immediately stopped communicating me, despite he was quite enthusiastic about my plans.

I know, and many would agree, that one doesn’t have to be graduated to be good in an area. I have been trying to work accordingly, and trying to educate myself, but it still makes unhappiness. I’ve been dreaming about working in an organisation for shorebirds for ages. For the reasons described above, it doesn’t seem to be realistic or at least not easy. I saw so many ‘officers’ working for bird conservation without having any related background or even the slightest interest in birds. They simply had a kind of degree, and this makes me even more frustrated. They are career builders and can’t wait for 5:30PM to come every day. Saving birds without feeling passionate about them is like having sex without love. I might be too passionate about birds, I don’t know.

Sometimes I feel, that the only way to work more seriously for shorebirds is to establish an own organisation. Luckily there are successes, what keeps me going on. The World Shorebirds Day is definitely one of these success stories I have to be proud of. Nobody asked me about my graduation and yet it worked wonderfully. I might need professional advice or feedback from my community to step over this self-assessment crisis. It certainly affects my future productivity.

I feel some relief since my son’s been a university student and working hard for his degree.